When choosing your references, it’s important to remember that the choice to serve as your reference really lies with them. While there can be joy in serving as a reference for someone, it’s also a favor as it requires time and effort to support someone else’s career. Therefore, when seeking references, you want to be very polite and not presumptive. Try asking the following 3 questions, the next time you are seeking someone to serve as a reference. 

1. Will you please serve as a reference for me?

Remember, this is a request for a favor. A person can deny you for any reason. If she says yes, then proceed with the following questions. 

2. How would you like to be contacted?

It’s important that you ask as they may have some specific instructions about which phone number you use, or which email account you provide to the person conducting the reference check. 

3. What do you need from me in order to speak about my work?

While you’ll definitely be sharing your resume with her, she may also want to spend some time on the phone with you going over your most recent professional endeavors, your career plans, or other relevant information. Make sure you are available to provide her whatever she needs in order to fulfill this favor you are requesting. 

What questions do you ask someone who may serve as a reference for you? Share with us in the comments below.