It’s 9:30am. You’ve scheduled the next 2.5 hours to work on your report which is due at noon. Just as you’re settling into your day, a client begins texting nonstop with questions about her contract. Interrupting you as you read the texts is a call from your boss, telling you that she’s late and will need you to facilitate her 10am meeting. What do you tend to first? 

Yourself. 

When the world of work assignments feels like it’s crashing down on you, you may feel a sense of fight or flight response. Here’s my suggestion about how to manage the stress in these cases: a quick flight, then fight (or really, tackle what needs to be done). 

You’ve just received news that is changing your schedule, making you adjust your work and take on new tasks. This likely feels aggravating. You also may feel frustrated that the morning you had planned so well, is now turning into a rushed chaos. 

In these cases, when a lot of people are depending on you to deliver, and you want to do your best but feel stressed by competing priorities, you have to give yourself a little love first. What I mean is some in-the-moment self care. This can be in the form of a walk around the block, a cappuccino from that cute coffeeshop across the street, or even just a few breaths where you observe your inhale and exhale. These activities will recenter you. For just a moment they take you out of the crises at work and remind you of things that bring you happiness—fresh air, tasty drinks, or a calm breath. They also take you out of your work in the moment when you have a high chance of starting to make reactive decisions. Getting some distance actually makes it easier to focus on the tasks at hand when you return. This is in addition to being less irritable about all that has been put on your plate. 

It’s important that you truly be in the moment when you do these activities. So, you’re not ordering your cappuccino, and complaining to the barista about how crazy your job is. No. You’re, ordering your cappuccino, admiring the cute decor in the coffeeshop, asking the barista how her day is going, and taking a slow sip of your drink before turning back to face your work. Your work will be there when you are done taking your self care time, and dwelling on it during this break will only make you anxious about getting back. The last thing we want to do is add to your stress. 

I know you’re thinking—but how can I just take off or do something entirely unrelated to what I need to be doing? The answer is because what you need to be doing requires you to bring your best self. If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, you are not performing as your best self. Precisely because you care about doing a good job is the reason you must step away to get some perspective. The question you really should be asking is, what do I need to do for myself in order to destress so that I can bring my A-game to each task ahead of me? 

This in-the-moment self care doesn’t need to last long. If you are having difficulty bringing yourself to step away, remind yourself that 10 minutes now will make the next several hours of work more productive and less stressful. I dare you to try taking such a break the next time you feel stressed and believe that the last thing you should be doing is walking away. Walk away (for just a few minutes), clear your head, and see what happens. In my experience, both your mood and productivity improve. 

When you jump back into your work, keep your distance from what is not your fault, and be realistic about what you are able to do. Let your boss know that you’re here to cover for her, but request that she sends you the agenda for her meeting. Also, take the opportunity to let her know that by stepping into her meeting, you’ll be losing time that you had allocated to a report. Request permission to get an extension on the report, or ask her to help you prioritize which is more important. Finally, kindly set some boundaries with your client. Let her know that you’ll be happy to address her concerns later in the afternoon as you’re stepping into a meeting. If she needs assistance immediately, seek help from a colleague. After your break, you’ll be better able to see the limits of what you can do and hopefully, you can let go of the part of you that thinks you should be able to do it all. You can do a lot, no doubt. And the rest you can delegate, or do tomorrow. 

I know this one is hard to implement. Support your colleagues in helping them get some space from their stress. The next time your officemate is stressed, suggest that you and she step out to get a tea. Sometimes having someone let you know that it’s time to take a break is helpful as we may forget that the thing we need to do when we’re being asked to do everything, is nothing. If only just for a few minutes.