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I’m a fan of boundaries. I don’t divulge too much about myself at work. However, there are some basic things that most people with whom I work know about me: I’m from New Jersey, I live with my partner in a studio apartment, I enjoy cooking, blah, blah, blah. These are not secrets. Rather, they are small pieces about me and my life that are not relevant to the work we do, but are relevant to the supportive team we are creating. I think it’s important to have your team members know about who you are as a person, and for you to know your team beyond their work. The professional and personal can overlap, and that’s okay. I can be both someone’s manager, and a person who cares for them as an individual. Ultimately, you’ll be creating a more holistic work experience—one that is influenced and influences the rest of your life.
When trying to get to know your team, it’s important that you don’t pry into their lives and pull out information that they don’t want to divulge. Instead, just be curious. Ask open-ended questions and see how they answer. Explain to them that you want to know who they are as a person, not just in their role.
Things I like to know about my staff include:
- Family structure (Do they have kids? Are they close with their siblings? How about their parents? Do they have pets? I want to know who are the supportive people in their lives.)
- Hobbies (What do they enjoy doing outside of work? What do they like talking about?)
- Self care techniques (I want to know how people take care of themselves so that I can check in on that and make sure they have time and space to do that.)
- Career aspirations (How does their current job fit into the bigger picture career? How can I help them get to the next step?)
By creating a level of openness with your team, you’ll be able to have more honest supervisions, more genuine coaching sessions, and more collaborative relationships. If you don’t concern yourself with who your employees are, you risk having them feel unseen, or seen only as robots who do a certain job. I once had a boss who didn’t acknowledge that I was on vacation for an entire week. When I returned and saw her in a meeting, she didn’t ask how my time off was, if I went anywhere, or if I felt rejuvenated. It was as though she didn’t notice that I was away. (Of course she knew; she approved my time off). My morale sunk so low that day. And it was the first day back from vacation which is not the easiest anyway. If you’re a boss, ask your employees where they’re going on vacation, and then ask them how it was when they return. Just be cordial. They are first people, then employees.
Have experience getting to know your employees and creating a holistic work experience for them? Share your tips in the comments below.