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When speaking at work, it’s important to use purposeful language as your words carry weight and cause others to react accordingly. When someone asks a question in which there is already a negative assumption in it, the receiving person is automatically put on the defense.
For example, you’re in a team meeting and Jen has presented on a project on which she’s working. When no one in the room volunteers to assist her with the project, Jen asks, “Is nobody is going to assist me with this project?” This tells the rest of the room that Jen is seeking assistance, but also that she assumes her colleagues will not support her. Perhaps they have questions about the project, or are overworked. They may have very legitimate reasons for staying quiet. If she had simply said, “Does anyone have time to assist me with this project?” she may receive more support from her colleagues.
Jen, like everyone on a team, has the power impact morale, and the responsibility not to work against a positive environment. Now, I’m not saying that Jen has to alter her personality to become a more cheerful person. Simply, I’m arguing that Jen should think about how her negative language impacts her relationships at work, and the culture of support she has a responsibility to foster as an employee.
Have you ever received a negative question that automatically assumed you were not going to deliver? What did it feel like? How did you deal with it? Share with us in the comments below.