There are a lot of people who are disgusted with the Harvey Weinstein’s of the world but who do not see their own role in perpetuating workplace cultures that tell women they are valued less than men. This should be no surprise. There are a lot of people who think racism is terrible but who do not see their own role in perpetuating discrimination against others because of race. And this can be applied to nationality, ethnicity, religion, and the list goes on. 

From the #metoo movement, we have an opportunity and a language (or at least a hashtag) to talk about what has been happening in too many workplaces and for too long: sexual harassment. But the conversations have fallen short for many. They end with the heinous crimes of few, and are rarely used as an opportunity to explore the more pervasive cultures in our workplaces today that are deeply problematic. Beyond sexual harassment, gender-based microaggressions are everywhere. And these sexist actions and remarks pave the way for cultures where #metoo happens. This sexism serves as daily, sometimes hourly reminders that women’s presence and contributions are valued less than men’s. Women’s roles are seen as less important, less high level, and less valuable. 

Writing this sounds so basic. And what man who is reading this is really going to think that they contribute to these sexist cultures? I know you think you’re better than that but even the most liberal, feminist men have the ability to do something that is very human—to overlook the privilege they have and contribute to systems of oppression against a group more vulnerable than them. 

“He didn’t mean it,” and “he really does value your opinion,” are phrases that are too little too late for me. #metoo is demanding that our consciousness be broadened, and that we think about all the small gestures we make everyday. Because calling your female colleagues “young ladies” and man-spreading your legs in a meeting may seem minor but overtime they add up to a lifetime of implicitly being told that you don’t belong here—this space is not for you.

If you really want to know how to prevent your company from becoming a place where employees fall victim to sexual harassment, it’s time to consider the microaggressions that are pervasive in your culture that quietly yet consistently remind women that this is not where their ideas can be taken seriously—based on merit instead of gender.