What support groups taught me about business meetings

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One of the most meaningful and difficult responsibilities I’ve had in my career was facilitating support groups. Over the course of 6 years I facilitated over 500 groups. What I’m realizing now is that some of the life lessons that I learned in the groups are directly applicable to meeting facilitation. While the purposes for these gatherings are different, there are dynamics that are similar simply based on the fact that these are both supposed to be meaningful gatherings of people with a general shared goal. 

Life lessons that I learned while leading support groups:

1. What participants get out of support groups is directly related to what they are willing to put into them. Support groups are only as supportive, meaningful and productive as each participant cares for it to be. Each contribution, each response to a comment and each silence is based on what the group of individuals are willing to say, listen to and sit with.
2. Participants attend support groups for different reasons. Some people attend because they want to talk, while others attend to listen. There are many more reasons why people attend groups but there is an overall shared understanding that they are there because they need some kind of support from their peers, despite individual needs varying.
3. The outcomes of support groups are unpredictable. Groups are influenced by all the stressors that participants are dealing with before the gathering. The facilitator’s role is important but not as important as the contributions of the group. All the preparations in the world are no match for the culture that is established by the participants.

Now let’s substitute meetings for support groups and see how they work.

1. What participants get out of meetings is directly related to what they are willing to put into them. Yup.
2. Participants attend meetings for different reasons. Uh huh. They may be there because they have to be or want to be. The general goal of the meeting may be shared but individuals have varying reasons why they are there.
3. The outcomes of meetings are unpredictable. Facilitators can be clear on what needs to be done but the outcomes of a meeting are based on what each person brings. All the preparations in the world are no match for the culture that is established by the participants.

The distance that I’ve learned to take from my groups has been helpful to apply to my meetings. Keep these shared lessons in mind as you develop your facilitation style.