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I’m often having conversations, encouraging women to speak up and assert themselves. As someone who overthinks most of her contributions in meetings, I know it can feel really scary to speak up. I don’t know if what I’m saying is going to be perceived as I’m intending. And there’s always a concern about putting oneself out there. I’ve also learned, however, that some of these concerns are based in reality and others are based in highly biased perceptions that I have about others.
I may be scared to speak up because I’m afraid of a negative response. But it’s important that I parse out if that negative response is likely because I have historically received that or if it’s unlikely but I’m convinced that it could happen because I have a fear. Fears keep us from saying things all the time. Useful fears are ones like being afraid of getting fired for cursing out your irritating coworker. But fears that are not useful are those based in your head—like being afraid of what others will think of you if you are honest.
The next time your second guessing your contributions in a conversation, consider whether or not your concern is based in a real fear or in a fear that is just in your head. If it’s the latter, consider pushing past it. Speak your truth. The world is waiting patiently for you to get out of your head and contribute to it.