I was in a really good headspace on New Year’s Eve and decided that my resolution would be to maintain that headspace which involved feeling capable, hopeful, motivated and at peace. 

After sharing this resolution with a few people, I realized that I was setting myself up for disappointment. If I resolve to maintain a state of being, I’m going to be disappointed when I inevitably find myself swinging with an extreme emotion when something happens to set me back. So what’s a more realistic resolution?

I think it centers on resiliency. Instead of promising myself I’ll stay in this equilibrium, I’m promising myself that I’ll 

1. increase my awareness of when that equilibrium is being threatened, 

2. do what I need to to protect myself from shame and downward spirals when I am not in a great headspace, and 

3. set up reminders about how I’ve gotten myself out of a negative headspace in the past. (I’m doing this by keeping notes on the perspective I have right now so I can look back at them, and by sharing this perspective with friends so they can reflect it to me when I’m in need.)

I’m not going to attempt the futile resolution of staying where I am. Rather I’m going to resolve to focus on building my ability to be resilient when life happens. What’s your new year’s resolution? Share it in the comments below.