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When tensions run high at work, especially between managers and employees, sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing. Managers who pride themselves on being empathetic and supportive find themselves continuously checking in and interfacing with their employees. However, if there are tensions with an employee—maybe you just gave that person a warning for using an unprofessional tone with you, or have just had a conversation about her need to improve her performance—it’s important to give that person room to recalibrate. If you are expecting her to grow in some critical way, being so close to her during that process can actually exacerbate some of the tension that you’re both experiencing. This is because she will lack room from you to reflect on her performance or behavior. And each time you encounter her, you’re likely to get the same hostile response.
While this isn’t appropriate in all cases, taking some space from employees when tensions are high can particularly help you regain control of a situation that has gotten out of hand. Doing nothing is not actually doing nothing—it’s doing a lot. In doing nothing you are actually demonstrating:
- self control because you are not indulging in the drama of back and forth;
- non-reactive decision making because you are helping both yourself and your employee get some perspective on your disagreements; and
- the importance and possibility of slowing down a situation that would otherwise escalate quickly.
Ultimately, you’re modeling leadership when you take a step back and let things simmer. It can feel unnatural, and like you are losing control when you don't engage. However, your quietness is actually your way of regaining control, by putting limits to when and how you interact, with special room given for the expectation of growth—both within your employee and the relationship you two have.
How do you handle tension with employees? Share with us in the comments below.