Okay, catching and controversial title, I know. Of course not all women are doing these things. But I do think that many women are doing these things without thinking about what they communicate to others and how they feed into unhealthy and unequal work cultures. After reading The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young, Ed.D.—all about Imposter Syndrome, I began to reflect on all the household-y things I do at work that have always come so easily to me. Household-y things at work are the small activities that make others feel at home. Why is my domesticity appearing at work? Because my ability to get into the workforce has nothing to do with the workforce abandoning stereotypes about my personality based on my gender.

The list below are just a few of the household-y activities I’ve observed that are a) not anyone’s job responsibilities, and b) completed primarily by women even in offices that are not majority women.

1. Celebrating birthdays! I love a good birthday party and I’ve made them happen for many colleagues and employees. But birthday party planning has not ever been in my job description. I’m not suggesting that we all stop celebrating our team’s birthdays. But I am suggesting that we reflect on how much work we are putting into maintaining the household of our offices. Then choose intentionally how you’d like to proceed. If birthday parties are meaningful for you and the benefit of improving team morale is worth the gender conformity, then go for it. Seriously.
   

2. Jumping into fix event setup problems. There’s 10 people in a meeting and the Power Point slides aren’t appearing on the screen. Do you jump up and offer to fix it? Even though you have no specialty in tech stuff but you do have a specialty in getting shit done. Do you assume you could do it faster or better than others? Do you think that jumping into help will be a benefit for everyone as it will make the meeting happen as planned? Again, not bad things, but not intentional things. What if you let someone else step up and fix the projector? What if you sat back and waited for others to make you comfortable in your office?
   

3. Getting people when they’re late for meetings. This one is a pet peeve of mine. I don’t like babysitting at work. Everyone has access to the same calendar and the same clock. If you step out of a meeting to remind your late colleagues of the meeting, you’re both communicating that you can keep time for them, and you’re missing out on whatever gets covered in the beginning of the meeting. Now sometimes there are exceptions if you know that someone is always on time and she’s missing, or if you want to support a coworker who is struggling and distracted. Of course. Be human. But generally, be intentional about why you step out of meetings, and who it’s helping.