If we start to get more comfortable thinking of ourselves as negotiators and practicing negotiation skills routinely, we’ll be more confident and prepared when a big moment, like a salary negotiation, presents itself.
Frame your request as a value add for the other person. This means that whatever the reasons are for you wanting something, present only the reasons that will be compelling to the other person.
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Okay, but how does it work IRL?
Let’s say you are requesting to work from home on Wednesdays. For you working at home is a win-win: you will be more productive in your own space than in your office, plus you avoid your commute which means you can spend some extra time with your kids. Even if you have a compassionate boss, her priority is your work, not helping you avoid your commute or increasing your family time. So when you present your request, focus on the reason for it that is compelling to her: that you will be more productive in your own space than in your office.